Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
