Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
