If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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