the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
