my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
