please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
