he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
