So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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