i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
how does that bad decision feel?
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