Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize