we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
