Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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