Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
