Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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