Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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