We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
