he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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