if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
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she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
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No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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