no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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