A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
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I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
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only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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