i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pee on everything he values.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize