I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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