Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I need moral support for this bender
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
