Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
