yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
either way he was missing a nipple.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
