I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
