Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
