put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
