Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
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