it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
