If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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