Apparently you make a good broom.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
