I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
