she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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