ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize