Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize