I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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