So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
