how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
