It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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