is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
