I got her a Nickelback box set.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
