Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
