she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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