I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
