I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
