How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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