The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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