when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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