awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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