I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
