Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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