He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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