Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
