i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize