I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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