saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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