Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
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I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
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Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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